February 2009 Archives

This past weekend, Doug and I were escorting Finnegan to two birthday parties and socializing with the other parents in attendance.  It was a great experience because I was able to learn more about each parent who I otherwise pass in the hallway at Finn's daycare. 

There were some same-sex parents, hetero parents, exhausted parents, and proud parents, but most importantly they were loving parents.   For some reason, I didn't feel like interviewing everyone or to start every conversation.  I was much more quiet and because of my posture, I learned more about some special people who are just trying to make the world a better place for their children.

One child, Isaac, has two mommies.  His mothers are soo attentive and cognizant of his special needs.  Isaac has Aspberger's Syndrome.  He has difficulty making eye contact, speaking and socializing, but he does remarkably
well with all the other children.  He was just another kid at the table enjoying pancakes and drinking milk.  I admired his parents for their love and devotion for him.  They knew that he was a special needs child when they adopted him and they are rich with the love that he brings into their lives.

Calen is four and he has just learned to walk and talk.  His parents are both doctors working in Seattle.  Calen is a survivor.  When he was 10 weeks old he was injured by his babysitter which left him paralyzed for over a year, blind and with hearing problems.  But, having seen him on many occasions, I didn't even suspect his challenges.   I always noticed the way that his father kept him close and showered him with hugs and kisses, making me think every time that they had a special relationship.  Now, I know that his father was cherishing Calen's achievements and rewarding his efforts with affection.  His parents are so down-to-earth and happy.  They are remarkable people and I look forward to getting to know them better.

Jacob is a four-year-old spitfire.  His infectious smile is ever present and he's just adorable.  Jacob's parents adopted him when he was four days old.  They said it was a whirlwind experience because they didn't think that it would happen so fast and they weren't ready, but they were so happy and still are.  Jacob is really lucky because he has two wonderful mothers who dote on him and care for him so well. I admire them because they are both scientists doing good in the world and they are just like the rest of us, trying to make the world better for our children.

When we were at Jacob's house, I felt a great sense of peace and acceptance.  For the first time in a long time, I felt like I fit in with this wonderful bunch of people.  As I looked around the room and watched all the women taking care of their children, I realized that women do have a profound impact on each other and the world.  There was no one-up-manship taking place nor was their any sexual rivalry that takes place when the sexes socialize.  I noticed that Doug was even socializing with ease, he's usually very reserved around people he doesn't know. 

If everyone could share the same experience that we did this weekend, there would be fewer people in the world who think that children raised by same-sex parents is wrong.  What children really need is parents who love and care for them regardless of gender. 

I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I feel different today. 

There is an unfamiliar calmness that surrounds me and buffers me from the ills of the world.  Maybe it's the absence of newscasters spouting the terrible maladies befalling mankind that aren't weighing heavily on my mind?

Maybe it's the sound of Spring bringing back the songbirds that are outside my window?
Or is it the bright green shoots that are peeking their heads from beneath the once frozen humus?
Perhaps its the ever increasing minutes of daylight that fill the once gray gloomy skies?
It could just be that I haven't noticed the passing of the seasons with as much intensity as I do now?

This morning I could smell the salty air, I could hear the many different avian arias
and I watched the pale pink sun rise while looking out the kitchen window.
The atmosphere outside is warmer and lighter, not as cold and heavy as before.

Maybe it's that I've been sleeping so well lately?  I fall into a dreamless sleep like a hibernating bear without sensing the world around my bed.  (Except when Finnegan or Elijah make a sound.)

Maybe it's all of these things, that so often go unnoticed, but serve to remind us that Spring is just around the corner.

Since December, Elijah has been doing occupational therapy in order to start walking and after two months of hard work on his part, he is now officially walking!  He really started cruising around about two weeks ago and then last week he just started walking longer distances and this week he's walking all over the place. 

Today, the kids were home with me, so we went to get some haircuts.  Elijah loved going to Wallingford Center because he now has a different view of the world.  He can see so much more.  He kept walking up and down the main hallway to check out all the businesses and once he caught a glimpse of the cupcake store he wanted one right away.  But, it was time for his haircut and he threw a fit because he wanted a cupcake.  Luckily, the hairstylist had a sucker to distract him and a box of Star Wars toys.  He settled down very quickly and the haircut was a success.  Then Finnegan took his turn and he is sporting a very handsome hairdo. 

They are soo cute!  I just can't stop staring at my boys.  I keep telling myself that I need to take more photos of them, but I just want to sear the memories into my brain forever.  He and Finnegan and becoming much better playmates.  Yesterday we went to the park and they were swinging together and laughing like crazy, just enjoying the moment.  It was heaven.  I must say, "you are so cute," and "I love you so much," about one hundred times a day.  Usually, I get stressed out and tired after a full day with both kids, but I've been with them 24/7 for the past three days and I'm not going crazy.  I feel happy. 

For the first time in a very long time, I feel happy and content with my life.  I'm not suffering from any chronic pain and I can keep up with the kids.  There are no pressures or demands on me and I don't have to rush around for anything or anyone.  Can it be that I'm finally starting to get the hang of motherhood?  Or am I just so in love with my kids that nothing else matters? 

Whatever it is,  I like it.