February 2008 Archives

The date on my last blog entry was about nine days before everything fell apart for me at my studio Artis Photography north of Seattle.  The events were so distressing that I couldn't bear to reveal my disappointment until now. 

On September 27, 2007 my business partner and I had a conversation about changing the way that I contribute to running the studio.  It was getting harder for me to cope with working 50-60 hours a week while taking care of Elijah at the studio.  Elijah was teething and having a very difficult time coping with the pain because he just was not in a comfortable setting.  Consequently, his pain led to a nursing strike which lasted about three weeks leaving me very sleep deprived, exhausted beyond fatigue and badly bruised from Elijah biting me every night.  It was a difficult time for all of us.  I was totally burned out.  I had been working for over a year without pay and I just couldn't give 110% anymore.  The situation at the studio was very busy with the high school senior rush and my business partner Hilda* was very stressed out about the business.  

Unbeknownst to me, Hilda had been talking with her mother, Gertrude  who was visiting at the time and had decided that it was time for me to leave the studio.  So, that afternoon just before her mother stopped by the studio to have a "heart-to-heart discussion business woman to business woman.  As soon as she uttered those words I knew that the conversation was going to be a one-way affair.  Gertrude said, "The studio is no place for a baby.  It makes people uncomfortable.  Your clients are uncomfortable, your employee is uncomfortable and Hilda is uncomfortable."  "The place of business is not a place for a baby." 

As you can imagine I was incensed.  How dare she tell me that my child is not welcome in my own business.  When Hilda and I started building the studio we had our kids there all the time because we were moms.  And every mother who came into the studio always told me, "Good for you, for bringing the baby with you."  However, when I mentioned this to Gertrude, she was unphased. 

Gertrude proceeded to make me an offer.  "The whole reason made this trip to Seattle was to take care of this.  You need to leave the business and I'll take over your financial responsibility for the studio, but you need to go.  It's just not working anymore."  I never saw this coming and here I was getting ambushed by Hilda's mother.  Then she said, "If you don't walk away, I will get a lawyer and take legal action to remove you from the business."

I was so upset that I just wanted to scream at her and Hilda, who was not present.  I couldn't believe how gutless she was for sending her mother to fire me.  It was just incredible. 

After Gertrude left, I locked the front door and put up the closed sign and cried.  I was so distraught all I could think of  was, "How could this be happening to me?"  I had put my heart and soul into building this business and in a few minutes have it all taken away from me.

I cannot describe the full extent of my anger at that time because it flooded over me like a hot flash.  I was shaking with frustration and probably because I had not eaten lunch and was burning up all of my energy.  Without
hesitating, I began packing my photography equipment because I knew that I was no longer welcome at the studio.  Just the day before our employee Remy*, had been incredibly rude to me which forced me to call Hilda and tell her that I would fire Remy unless she gave a good reason not to.  I learned later from another employee that Hilda had been complaining about me to Remy for several months and thus had poisoned her opinion of me. 

I collected my cameras, portable lighting equipment and anything else that I could fit in my car.  I didn't take about $9,000 worth of my equipment because I knew that Hilda would need it for photo shoots.  I was still feeling loyal to the business and did not want our customers to suffer. 

Driving home that night was really hard for me because I needed to be safe.  Elijah was in the car with me and his presence kept me from doing something irrational.  But, I have a whole new understanding for people who succomb to roadrage or drive their cars off of embankments.  I believe that when someone intentionally hurts themselves it's because they can control the situation. 

I got home and Doug, Paul and MaryAnn were starting dinner and I was very quiet.  Everyone was talking about their day and then asked me how I was doing.  I said, "Well, I got fired today."  Jaws dropped and everyone said, "what?"  I said, "Yup!  That's what I said too."  It was a total shock.

There wasn't much point in telling the whole story because it wasn't going to change anything and I was too exhausted to relive it at the moment.  All I wanted to do was sleep.

The next day, I felt really depressed and knew that I needed to get some help.  It suddenly dawned on me that I was suffering from post-partum depression.  Weeks of sleep deprivation, long hours at the studio, inadequate nutrition and fatigue were weighing heavily and I needed help. 

Calling my primary physician didn't get me anywhere.  Everyone was booked up and the assistant suggested that I go to the emergency room.  Yea, right.  I'm going to walk into an emergency room and tell the nurse that I am really stressed out and I need help.  They would call me a risk and put me in psych ward.  I know how that movie ends.  What I really needed was sleep, which was so elusive to me.  So, I did the next best thing.  I doubled up on my medication and went out to be among other people.  I went to a photography workshop with Elijah.  And guess what?  Everyone thought he was the cutest thing and they wanted to be photographed with him.  Finally, we were welcomed by people who didn't mind having a baby in the work place. 

Several days went by and Hilda never called me or emailed me to check up on my situation.  After ten days I contacted Hilda about getting the rest of my photography equipment and she didn't answer my emails.  On October 25th, I met Hilda at the studio to sign some paperwork to remove my name from the lease.   We had the paperwork notarized and I told Hilda that I would be back on Sunday when the studio was closed to pick up the rest of my equipment.  On my way home I stopped off at Wells Fargo and closed out my business credit card account and took my name off of the other accounts and gave Hilda financial control of the company because there was no way that I could go back. 

On Sunday, I went back to the studio to pick up more of my equipment and my key did not work.  Then Hilda came to the door to let me in.  I was very angry and asked her when she was going to tell me that she had changed the locks.  "It only just happened and I just didn't have time to tell you."  Sure, it did.  I found out later that as soon as I signed the paperwork she called the locksmith.  She said that since I was no longer on the lease she did want to worry about me leaving the door unlocked and she didn't want to wonder, "What if, what if?  And you are no longer on the lease."  My response was, "Well is Remy on the lease?  Why does she have a key and I do not?  Hilda didn't say anything because she knew I was right. 

I told her that I felt like I was being made into the bad guy here and she had the stupidity to ask, "Why do you say that?"  I said, "Well, let me see.  I was the one who was asked to leave the business and not return under threat of legal actions."  Once again, she was silent.  I really wanted to start yelling at her, but her kids were there and I just didn't want to upset them.  So, I collected what I could and left the studio.

It's been several months now and I still have not received the rest of my equipment.  As a matter of fact, I just received an email from Hilda's lawyer telling me that my equipment is no longer on the premises.  Well, I guess
that I should consider it stolen.