Week 36: Getting some TLC

Weight: 145 lbs. Oh, no!
Waist: 41 inches Yikes!

Cravings: chocolate cake, donuts, hashbrowns, carbs in general. Chocolate shakes, cheese burgers, milk and water, water, water.

Weird dreams: I dreamt that I was with Martin Sheen and he was worried about what his grandkids wer eating.

Baby's status: Feb. 27th will be his birthday and we still don't know what his name is.

He's getting bigger and he's not moving as much as he used to, but when he stretches out it hurts. He'll probably be bigger than Finneganwas at birth, I just hope he's not a 10-pounder.

He's positioned himself right in front and he sticks straight out. People keep asking me if I'm having twins, which is really annoying. But, it can't be helped my belly sticks out about one foot from my body. It's pretty crazy. From the front I look pretty normal and I still have concave curves on the sides of my waist, but when I turn sideways, I can knock Finnegan over if he's not looking!

Aches & Pains: The weekend was terrible, I could barely walk. I basically crawled up the stairs most of the time and crawled on the floor when necessary. Taking several naps helped my fatigue level. But, I'm pretty miserable. Driving is uncomfortable because I can barely move after being in the car for more than 30 minutes and any distance of walking is just out of the question.

Doug has been helping me put on my socks and also applying pain patches to my back and hip areas. The lidocaine patches numb the outer muscles, but the deep pain is untouched. It takes the edge off though.

Night long sleeping is no longer possible. I have to rollover about every hour and it's hard to drag my left leg because it causes so much pain that I yelp and wince at every move. Each rollover is very calculated and takes minutes to complete. If I didn't have to go to the bathroom so much, sleeping would be a lot easier.

The latest addition to my long list of ailments is migraines. Saturday morning I was hit with one that lasted for several hours and put me out of commission for the day. Last September I suffered with five migraines. I need to be careful these next few weeks to limit the amount of migraines because I had at least one a week during the last month of Finnegan's pregnancy.

Good things: After a long discussion with Doug (he came to me after reading my last journal entry) we came to the conclusion that I need to ask for him for help. He can't read my mind and I need to get over the fact that I can't do everything as I once had.

It's hard for me to ask for things when it seems so easy to just get up and get what I want. Wait a minute? I can't do that anymore can I? So, part of my unhappiness with Doug last week was my own doing. I should not have roasted him soo badly in my entry. Sorry Doug, I'll do better next time.

Denial is a hard emotion to relate to especially when I have always been very active and self-reliant. The other nagging question in the back of mind is, "what will life be like for the rest of my life? Will I always be this challenged?" I hope not?

Fortunately, Doug has been really trying to help me out as much as possible. He's cooking dinner more often and breakfast on the weekends, with excursions to the local hamburger joint. And he's really trying to occupy Finnegan who is a bundle of energy so that I can get some extra sleep.

Emotions: This week I'm feeling much happier and loved by both the men in my family.
I'm starting to cry while watching the news and sappy commercials which I'm sure will only increase in frequency as the weeks go by. It's all part of the process.