Week 35: Emotions are running high

Waist: 40 inches
Weight: 143 lbs

Cravings: pickles, donuts, pork rinds, whiskeyed crab soup, ginger ale and lots of milk and ding dongs.

Weird dreams: I dreamt that we had the baby and it was a girl! Then we had to think of a name for her and Doug said, "Allison!" His favorite name.

I went to the OBGYN this week and she told me that the baby is big and measuring at 37cm or 37 weeks. I told a couple of friends of mine and they asked me if I was going to deliver early. I don't know? Guess I better call the doctor and find out.

Aches and pains: They are getting worse. It's very hard for me to walk especially after waking up or prolonged periods of sitting. I basically take a step with my right foot while pivoting right and dragging my left foot forward. It's a pretty bad waddle, but it's the best I can do.

Everything is swollen. I fell like a sausage. My hands are big and it's difficult to make a fist. My legs are very heavy, have painful varicose veins, my arches are sore and my knees are hurting from the additional weight bearing. Of course, my wedding ring does fit, but I can live with that.

I can't sleep more than four hours at a time any more and I need two naps a day. It's hard to roll over and get into a comfortable position because my belly is soo big. It's huge! People keep asking me if I'm having twins. The belly really hurts when driving on roads with ruts or during sudden stops and quick acceleration. I also have to adjust my sitting position into a leaning backwards slouch because sitting up straight causes circulation problems and I start seeing spots, get nauseous and have difficulty breathing. It's a daily occurrence.

The Braxton Hicks contractions are more and more common and I get them if I walk too fast or do anything strenuous. My back aches constantly and my hips are really sore. If I move too quickly or the wrong way, a sharp shooting pain runs down my leg and I usually cry out in pain. Finnegan looks at me and says, "owwyee?" Yes, I have many owwyees. I also look like a very old person when walking around and there is also a burning sensation just under my right breast that never goes away.

Emotions: Well, eventhough I think that I've been pretty even keeled, Doug does not. I feel under appreciated. I feel like Doug expects me to continue doing everything around the house despite the fact that I am very slow and unable to do things. I guess that my hormones are really running high because I also feel like I'm not getting any sympathy. Maybe it's because I was expecting the same treatment as with Finnegan when everything was new and Doug and I appreciated every moment of the pregnancy.
This time around we are parents of a two-year-old planning for another child. Is it like this for other moms? Maybe so, but I still need some TLC to make it through the next four weeks.

I am also really sensitive to Doug's comments especially the past few days and sometimes they just set me off and I get so frustrated that I just want (and sometimes do) scream in frustration. I'm fatigued, in pain and just downright miserable. If you want to know how it feels; duct tape a 30 lb bowling ball to your belly, put 20 pounds of weight around each ankle, then have someone whack you in the left knee and hip with a baseball bat a couple of times. Then don't take any medication because you can't. That's pretty much my day, every day.

One of my friends told me to ask the doctor if I can deliver early because she never went past 36 weeks. Despite my daily suffering, I don't want to cut the gestational process short if I don't have to. There's a reason that a pregnancy is 40 weeks and I'll stick to it.

I'm not writing all of this down for any "woe is me sympathy," it's part of the whole process that I want to remember later. Truth be told, a little unsolicited pampering would be just great, but I'll keep in mind what the OBGYN told me, "I'm sorry it's getting so hard, but you'll be cured in a few weeks." She's right. We are in the final miles of the marathon and the finish line is not very far away.