November 2006 Archives

Vital statistics

waist: 37 inches
weight: 125 pounds
Aches & pains: sciatica, upper back pain, leg cramps, hips and knees. Swollen feet and hands. Right eye twitch which really bugs me.

It's 3:30 right now and I can't sleep because Finnegan has a bad cold with a high fever. Staying up with him gives me the chance to write a bit.

My body is changing again. I can feel an extra layer of back fat building up and it makes my shoulders broader and upper arms bigger. I guess it's because Finnegan is no longer breastfeeding and I'm storing up the extra calories.

My thighs and butt are getting bigger and I tend to waddle when I have to walk quickly, which isn't very often. Breathing is louder and more difficult, I have to take deep breaths often and I yarn a lot too.

Sleep is getting better with the aid of pillows under my belly and between my knees. In order to alleviate some back pain, I started wearing a belly support band to lift my growing girth. It really does help.

Physically, this week has been better partly because I've had a few days off from the studio due to bad weather. However, I've been working hard at home.

On Tuesday morning I noticed that Spoon had diarrhea and left some trails throughout the kitchen and living room. Doug cleaned it all up before breakfast with Finnegan and we started watching Spoon. After breakfast I went downstairs to get ready for the day when to my horror I found the downstairs carpet covered with a multitude of blood trails in the TV room and our bedroom. The smell was terrible, but the sight of it all was awful. It looked like a crime scene, I'm not kidding.

We immediately started calling the veterinarian clinics but, many of them were closed due to the severe weather we've been having lately. Fortunately, one in the neighborhood was open and we took Spoon in.

It turns out that he had a gastrointestinal bacterial infection which attacks the inner lining of the intestinal tract and causes bleeding. The veteranarian said that if it had gone on for another 12 hours, Spoon would not have a chance for recovery. I left Spoon at the pet hospital and went home to start cleaning the carpet.

Thank goodness for home carpet cleaners. It took about four hours to get all the stains out of the carpet, but the steam cleaner worked so well. I can't imagine what a professional cleaner would have charged me to do the job. It normally costs $300 for a carpet cleaning. It would probably be double or more for this job. The steam cleaner is one of my favorite domestic tools. My first favorite is the vacuum cleaner, but this week it's the carpet steam cleaner. We have cream colored carpets in our basement and they are clean again.

Fortunately, due to the skill of several veteranarians Spoon is on the mend and no longer losing blood. He's wearing a collar and taking medication for the next few days along with bland food to help his intestines. He's starting to display some feisty behavior again and that's a good sign.

Tonight, Doug prepared Finnegan to sleep in his own room on the main floor and after exploring his new environment he settled into his bed and fell asleep. Doug was so gentle with Finnegan, he had everything ready; the bed, his pajamas, his toys and helicopter books. All the necessary comforts were ready to ease Finnegan into his new room.

While Doug read to Finn and kept him in his bed my thoughts resisted this change.
A few times I mentioned to Doug, that maybe we should just let him get used to the room and try to leave him there tomorrow night. But, Doug was strong and he resisted my impulses to avoid separation.

The last few weeks have been hard for me, so many endings to deal with. First, my furry little friend, Grenade died. Then I stopped nursing Finnegan and feared that our special bond would be broken. And now he's no longer sleeping next me. For two years and two weeks Finnegan has been by my side and now he's not in my room.

He looked like such a big boy in his little car bed reading his helicopter flight manual. He's only two years old. I love Finnegan so much that it's hard to let him go and yet I know that these steps are necessary for him to gain independence and for me to get ready for the new baby.

I hope he doesn't have any bad dreams and I'll wait for the moment when he comes into our bedroom to snuggle into bed with us.

This week has been quite painful. It's increasingly diffcult to walk and to carry weight. My back and hips hurt all the time and I'm getting varicose veins which are really painful. I'm not afraid to mention these things because then people will understand why I'm so cranky lately.

I also had a very weird dream last night. I dreamt that my contractions started and I told Doug that it was time to go to the hospital. So we left the house, but we had to walk along a path and up a really steep hill to get to there. We were almost at the top of the hill when I couldn't go on anymore and I had to lay down and have the baby right there within viewing distance of the hospital.

After laboring for a short time, I laid an egg. It was basically a semi-hard white pod with our baby in it and we could see him through a window which showed his head. We wrapped the egg up and carried it the rest of the way to the hospital and told them what had happened. A nurse took it from us and she gently removed the baby from the pod and checked his vital signs. Then the baby was swaddled and placed into my arms at which point I noticed that he was much smaller than usual, perfectly proportioned.

I don't know what I ate that caused me to have this crazy dream, but I'd like to avoid it in the future. So now, I'll anticipate the moment when someone interprets my dream to tell me about all my insecurities and weaknesses. Until then, I'll try not to mix dill pickles and ice cream!

It's not often that we recognize people in our lives for their achievement. Most people only get recognition from their employers or volunteer organizations, but I want to recognize a few people for their outstanding achievement as decent human beings.

I'd like to recognize my brother-in-law Chad Yarrington for outstanding achievement as a caring father and loving husband while his wife Sara has been in the hospital for the past three weeks.

Each day Chad gets up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready for work and to take his son, Luke to daycare. Then he's off to work at Ford where he may soon be laid off from his job, but he keeps on putting in a hard day's work. At the end of the day he rushes home to pickup Luke from daycare and then drives 90 minutes to visit Sara in the hospital and to let her spend time with Luke. After their visit, he makes the long drive home, feeds and bathes Luke and puts him to bed. Then Chad gets about 30 minutes to himself before going to sleep. After a night's rest, he does it all over again without complaint.

I'd also like to recognize Sara Yarrington for her perseverance and patience that is required to take care of her baby. It's not easy to sit in the hospital day after day missing her family, but she knows that it is necessary and she doesn't complain either.

My brother Rob is a great guy. He's my youngest sibling and I totally love him. Today he surprised us by showing up for Finnegan's birthday which is a big thing because he lives in Southern Californina! Rob has always been a generous and caring person in my life, but today he showed us how much he loves Finnegan and that was the greatest gift of all.

The person I admire most is my husband, Doug. He's such a great father to Finnegan. He enjoys all the little things that make fatherhood worth the experience. Planning Finnegan's birthday party was a major priority and it took a week of thoughtful planning and execution which resulted in a successfull event.

The most admirable traits that has are his commitment to our family's well-being and happiness. Doug enjoys taking care of Finnegan, teaching him how to set the table, clean the house, mix pancake batter and how to take a bath. My heart is filled with love when I see them happily doing things together.

I wish that I could nominate all these people for some special award because they are the unsung heroes in my life who work so hard to be good human beings and great family members. Without them my life would be so different and I am so grateful that I am in their family. They make me want to be a better person, who loves freely, gives generously and appreciates all things that come my way.

Today was Finnegan's second birthday and he had so much fun with all of his little friends. He was very excited when we sang, "Happy Birthday" to him and he actually blew out his candles.

Our friends and family were very generous and Finn received lots of great toys and books that reflected his love of helicopters, trains and Nemo. We are so lucky to have so many people in our lives who are happy to share in our joy.

Yesterday, was a long day as Doug prepared the house for the party and I worked at the photo studio. Later in the evening we finished cleaning and then Doug and Finnegan made all the cupcakes for the party. Finn even put all the stickers on the goodie bags! We were so proud to watch him mix the cake batter and put the cupcake papers in all the pans. He just loves to help and it's so much fun for us to make everyday tasks a family event.

The biggest surprise of the day was when I was looking out the front door and I saw my brother walk up the stairs to greet us. I had no idea that he was coming for Finn's party and it was such a great surprise to all of us. He came all the way from Los Angeles to be here and we were so happy to see him. My brother Rob is such a good guy. I just can't describe how happy and surprised I was to see him today. It was such a great gift.

Finnegan may be two, but he'll say, "four," if you ask him how old he is. He also knows the following:

number of wheels on a car
number of legs on a chair
number of sides on a square and
what do golfers say on the course? You guessed it, "four."

A few people have told me that age two to three is a difficult time. This may be so, but right now, two is pretty good.

Sometimes being successful as means that you are very busy.

Yesterday, Rachele and I had to do a couple of photo shoots and I was so tired. After the first shoot I started editing the photos and could only get halfway through them without yawning and closing my eyes. I had to stop and take a nap. Fortunately, we have some comfortable couches and I slept for 90 minutes!

I couldn't understand why I was so tired and then Rachele said, "Let me see, you are working six days a week, taking care of your family and you're growing a baby!"

She was right, I hadn't thought about all of that. Anyway, Rachele is now telling me when to take a nap, so that I don't get over tired and get our work done. It's nice to work with someone who understands what I am going through, especially when I forget.

Tomorrow we have five shoots all back-to-back from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., I'm tired just thinking about it!

16 weeks to go. . . .

Yesterday, I went for my six month checkup and couldn't believe that I had gained 10 pounds in one month! I immediately said that their scale was wrong, but of course it wasn't. It's not that I'm afraid of gaining weight, it's just that it seemed too much for one month. Then the nurse said, "Well you only gained four pounds up until a month ago, so you're catching up."

She was right and put it all into perspective for me. My belly had been feeling really big lately and my legs, back and hips hurt all the time. As a matter of fact, my physical therapy appointments start tomorrow to help alleviate some of my discomfort.

My aches and pains have been so bad for the past three weeks that my business partner, Rachele, keeps teasing me about getting a motorized scooter to get around the area for our photo shoots. The other day while shopping at Costco the the motorized shopping carts looked really appealing to me, but since I no longer have a handicap card, I just couldn't bring myself to use the cart.

This morning I decided to measure my expanding girth and my waist is now 36 inches.
It's pretty amazing how far the skin can stretch.

Baby Boy Treder is doing very well. He kicks all the time and has a very strong heartbeat 140 beats per minute. That's about the same heart rate as a small dog.

My cravings have been mostly Mexican food with the latest addition of dill pickles and I love carbs. Mostly pasta with cream sauces. And I'm back on the boiled egg kick. Just can't get enough boiled eggs.

Finnegan has been trying to climb all over me when we are in bed or if I'm laying on the floor. We keep telling him about his little brother and Doug even got him a book about a new baby in the family. The next step is getting a baby doll for Finn to carry around and learn to be gentle with the new baby.

While we worry about Finnegan and the new baby we still haven't picked out a name. Doug says he'll take a look at the census bureau name statistics to look for unusual names. We need a good one to go with Finnegan, everyone loves his name.

So, that's it. Sixteen weeks to go and counting.

Friday Nov. 3rd, 2006

Today was a bit easier for me. My morning routine wasn't too chaotic and Finnegan and I managed to get to school on time. After a parent-teacher conference and hearing about his progress, which was good, it was time to go home and finish getting ready for my day.

When I checked my email there were several messages of condolence for Grenade and though it saddened me to read them it brightened my day to know that so many people had happy memories of Grenade.

We never know how a pet can impact someone's life, but Grenade was such a cuddly little guy that everyone loved him, me most of all.

Last night my dreams were filled with images of Grenade. The only dream that I remember is one where I was in a small town in the California desert which was infested with rattle snakes and I couldn't find Grenade.

As I searched for him, I ran into Arnold Schwarzenneger who was campaigning and eating lunch at a little diner in town. I kept looking for Grenade and I saw lots of snakes that terrified me. Finally, I heard his unusual bark and then he came running toward me from underneath a small house that was built on stilts.

He greeted me with his little spin and barked for a biscuit. I scooped him up into my arms and joyfully walked away.

Upon waking from this crazy dream, I instantly knew that Grenade was gone and then I looked over at Finnegan who was sleeping so peacefully looking like a cherub with his
pouty little lips. For several minutes I watched him in order to burn his sleeping image into my mind hoping that he would never grow old.

It's impossible to stop the clock and live in one moment in time forever. Or to fly backwards around the earth to reverse time like Superman, but it sure would be nice if we could do it just once.

Living in the real world comforts me with it's routines. In the morning Finnegan is top priority to get to dressed and off to school. It's a bit chaotic at times, but it keeps me moving forward. When I return from his preschool there is just enough time to eat some breakfast, read the news, take a shower and head off to the studio.

Routines are good, without them I'd wander aimlessly about the house. A routine re-establishes normalcy during difficult times. I know that in the grand scheme of things, losing Grenade is not a huge loss to the world, but I still miss him.

I miss his laughing face greeting me at the door each day when I return from an outing and I miss him when I feed Spoon.

Fortunately, Finnegan squeals with joy when he sees me and that warms my heart and brings joy into my life.