My furry friend is dying

Last night, after Finnegan and I settled into the house, I noticed that Grenade was not very active and he was having a hard time breathing. His heart was beating so loudly that I could hear it without getting close to him and I could hear fluid in his lungs. I put him outside to do his business and he stood there wobbling on his legs and his tail was hanging down. He managed to urinate with shaky legs and I became very worried. When I brought him in he refused to eat or drink anything that I offered him which was especially bad because he needs to take his medication.

This morning I took Grenade to the pet hospital near our house and the news was not good. The doctor said that Grenade had Congestive Heart Failure and fluid in the lungs. I started to cry because my worst fears where coming true. As the doctor told me that with appropriate medications and antibiotics Grenade could pull through this, but he'd have to see a cardiologist and still would only have a few months to a year to live.

I heard these words and all I could think of was that I didn't want to make the awful decision of euthanasia. The doctor left to take care of some paperwork and to give me an estimate for treatment and I started thinking about quality of life issues not only for animals, but people too.

An hour passed and I asked to see Grenade before making my decision. When I took him into my arms I remembered the day that I found him at the animal shelting in Korea and how happy he was to see me. I've been so attached to him all these years and now very soon he will be a shining part of my past.

He looked at me with his big shiny black eyes and bobbed his head like he usually does and I just couldn't do it. I needed time to call Doug and think about everything.

When I explained the situation to Doug, he was such a comfort to me. He said that we should be prepared for the end, but that we should also make his remaining time as comfortable as possible and avoid any dramatic treatment to prolong his life. He was right and so, I've decided to bring him home and take care of him here.

I've been worried about Grenade for a few years. I hated to leave him home during long visits especially when we went to Europe for five weeks.

It's hard to let go of our beloved pets. Grenade has been with me since July 17, 1995 and he's been a great companion all these years. I just wish we had more time.