November 2004 Archives

A recent hot topic of the political campaigns, TV talk shows and even
in mainstream magazines is the impact of prayer. Apparently as people
age they tend to get more religious and morality and prayer become
important to them. Prayer has always been important to me. I've been
praying each day since I was twelve years old. I started praying
because my parents were getting divorced and each night after we were
sent to bed, my parents would fight and I would pray for up to two
hours to drown out the noise and conflict of my parents' quarrels.
This intense praying stuck with me and I've always prayed as a form of
meditation.

While living in Korea I was fascinated by the Buddhist monks and their
chanting. On my days off I would venture to a different temple to
observe the monks and to pray while listening to their chanting. It
was so relaxing and the chanting helped me to clear my mind of my
troubles while concentrating on how to resolve my worries.
At the same time I started going to church and I felt most comfortable
in the Catholic parish and I began having religious discussions with
the priest and with my neighbor Mr. Ritchie who was the American
Consulate in Pusan. Almost every weekend the Ritchies would invite me
over for dinner and wonderful religious discussions. The Ritchies were
fairly new converts and they embraced their religion and I thoroughly
enjoyed their zest for exploring the totality of their religion. It
was a wonderful experience and their friendship reinforced my desire to
be a practicing Catholic.

Ten years have passed since my change of religious perspective and I've
had a wonderfully enriched life. My quest to explore the teachings of
the bible and religious history has taken me to Europe three times, to
buddhist temples in Japan and to the Vatican five times. Each of these
expeditions has taught me a better understanding of the nature of
humankind and our impact on each other and the power that one person
can make on millions of people. I have been deeply impacted by two
great women; Mother Teresa and Maya Angelou.

A little more than a year ago, I found myself traveling from Florence
to Paris by train and one of my bunkmates was a native Indian woman who
had known and worked with Mother Teresa. I can't remember her last
name, but Anna Marie was fascinating. She was so happy and excited
about being in Rome for the Beatification of Mother Teresa and she
impressed me and my traveling partners; Sara and MaryAnn. What amazed
us was how easily she lived her religious beliefs. For her, being
faithful was as natural as involuntary breathing. It was refreshing to
be with someone who so easily embodied the teachings of Jesus. This
really amazed me because so many people carry their religion like a
millstone around their necks and are incapable of enjoying their
religious peacefulness.

Anyway, here we were sitting in our couchette and Anna Marie was
sharing her stories and teachings of Mother Teresa with us. The one
lesson that really stuck with me was the importance of praying. Anna
Marie said that Mother Teresa believed strongly in the power of prayer.
She said that prayer enlarges the heart until it is capable of
containing God's gift of himself, or our prayers can only be answered
through dutiful prayer and careful preparation. In other words, your
prayer will not be answered unless you take action to be ready for it.
It's kind of like praying for help before taking a test; you won't
have a chance of passing the test unless you actually study for it.
Meeting Anna Marie really changed my praying habits because now I do
more to ensure that I am ready to receive the help that I am asking
for.

For the past four years, Doug and I have been wanting to have a child
and finally our prayers were answered on Nov. 5th, 2004 with the birth
of our beautiful son, Finnegan. The path to starting our family was a
rocky road of infertility testing, treatments, financial strain,
self-sacrifice and personal disappointment. However, after meeting
Anna Marie my approach to having a baby changed. Instead of letting my
condition negatively impact my life, I decided to take any action
necessary to be ready to have a baby. So, I dramatically changed what
I was doing.

During my travel home from Europe, I carefully examined my life to find
out what needed to be changed and found that I was not ready to get
pregnant and that I was actually inhibiting the process. I had not
made the commitment to give myself completely to the process of having
a baby. Drastic changes needed to be made in my life. After careful
contemplation, I stopped working for the National Guard which greatly
reduced my stress and fatigue as I was not working 12-hour days
anymore. This step made me available to take any action my doctor
suggested. I also cancelled all of my travel plans from January
through April because it's too stressful on my body. My stress level
was now very low and I suddenly found myself being a real housewife. I
found great pleasure in just being a wife to Doug. I started cooking
for the sheer joy of it and took great pleasure in maintaining a
beautiful home.

Each day, I would take time to read a book with a happy ending to
bolster my belief that love can heal all wounds. I took time to have a
cup of tea and I watched Oprah. Now, most people might not think Oprah
is all that great, but I just love her positive energy and zest for
life. I also discovered her love of Maya Angelou and soon found myself
reading her work.

Now, you're probably wondering what Mother Teresa and Maya Angelou have
in common? To me they are examples of powerfully positive women who in
their own way empower thousands of people with their positive
philosophies. Mother Teresa believed in helping the poor and the power
of prayer. Maya Angelou writes wonderful poems that lift the spirit
with positive affirmations that actively empower the weakest of souls.
For me these two women became a large part of my life; Mother Teresa's
teachings motivated me to prepare myself to be ready for my prayers to
be answered and Maya Angelou's words encouraged me to, "be present at
all times and thankful for all things." These principles became my
winning combination because I was preparing myself physically,
emotionally and spiritually. I developed a new approach to my life and
I was enjoying myself so much more.

My new outlook on life really helped me get through surgery, daily
doctors appointments, terrible hormonal side affects and general malais
without feeling sorry for myself because I knew that this time things
were going to work out. I also found a new doctor and put my trust in
him to know what to do. Then an amazing thing happened, I no longer
felt angry about the process and looked at each day as a new
opportunity. Each person I met was someone who might have an answer
for me and I was starting to feel centered in my life and not stressed
out.

In February, I went through many many procedures to boost my fertility
with great opimism from my doctor and his nurses. Finally the day came
for my most important out paitent visit and I was ready for it. I had
a completely cleared schedule with nothing to do for the next three
months and no worries. I was nervous and I prayed the whole time, this
time it would work. Twelfth times the charm right?

Doug and I went home and I started my vigil and sat on my nest like a
mother hen caring for her unborn chicks. This time it had to work.
Three weeks went by and it was time to visit the doctor. I was
nervous, but hopeful and would not let disappointment deter me from
trying again. Doug and I went into the ultrasound room and waited for
the nurse to tell us if we were successful or not. By this time, I'd
been through so many procedures that it no longer phased me. Several
minutes went by as the computer monitor warmed up and then our nurse
said, "There it is!" As she pointed to a donut looking mass on the
screen. I wasn't sure what she was talking about and then she said,
"Congratulations, you're pregnant." We were thrilled. A wave of
emotion washed over me and brought tears to my eyes because I knew that
my prayers had been answered. Doug and I were so happy that we cried
and laughed as we prepared to leave the office.

When we were checking out, all the staff were congratulating us and
they were sharing in our joy. Then my nurse starting giving me
prescriptions for prenatal vitamins, hormone supplements and lists of
additional appointments. Then she told me that our due date was
November 5th, 2004 and that's when it started to sink in. An actual
date that we would become parents.

Nine months seems like a long time, but it's not. It's just enough
time to properly prepare for the baby and to develop a positive
approach to raising the child. Doug and I carefully considered all the
options and put a came up with an approach where we would raise our
child with much love and positive reinforcement.

Thank you Mother Teresa and Maya Angelou for the powerful gifts of
prayer and gratitude which prepared us for being a family.

I'm feeling much better today. I think Popeye was right about eating
lots of spinach and iron-rich foods because it feels like it's starting
to pay off. I'm pretty tired right now and will go to bed in a few
minutes, but I've had a busy day.

I managed to go upstairs six times today: 1) to make my lunch because
Doug was taking a nap with Finnegan, 2) to feed the dogs their dinner,
3) to make some dinner, 4) to get the rest of our dinner, 5) to make
some snacks to eat while watching a movie and 6) to return dishes to
the sink.
Believe me this is huge progress for me, but now I feel really tired
and my hands are shaking and I don't think that I can pick Finnegan up
until I get a nap. I also managed to take a long shower this morning
without feeling like passing out. I'll keep eating the spinach.

Finnegan kept me occupied most of the day with nursing him and holding
him in my lap. He's real sensitive to the cold so I held him close and
he slept for about five hours in my arms. Even though I felt like my
arms would fall off, I didn't want to put him in the crib. He looked
so angelic while practicing his smiling during his nap. I was just
amazed at how beautiful babies are and especially Finnegan. This
evening I put him on a donut shaped pillow called a boppy so he could
practice lifting his head. He doesn't usually enjoy it, but this time
I got right down on the floor and looked into his eyes and encouraged
him with try while patting his back and caressing his face. He didn't
fight or put up a fuss at all and as soon as I noticed that he was
getting tired, we stopped in order to reinforce a positive event.
Babies are so smart, I'm amazed at how alert he is.

The more I hold him in my arms the deeper I fall in love with this
little guy and I can't wait to hold him again.

When I was in college many years ago, I was having a terrible second
term as Student Body President and every week I was getting bashed by
the school newspaper on allegations of fraud, embezzelment and other
misdeeds. The allegations were false, but student journalists have
awards to win and stories must have drama.

Anyway, after several weeks of getting beaten down pretty hard by the
school paper, I went to one of my political science classes and sat
next to two of my classmates, Sister Mary and Sister Catherine. These
two nuns were so young and studying at my college to be teachers in the
Los Angeles Archdiocese. They were great girls and I totally enjoyed
talking to them. I just wanted to know what it was like to be a nun
and actually contemplating running off to the convent if things got
really bad at school. Nobody else talked to them because they just
couldn't see past the habits, but they were my friends.

Just before class started Sr. Mary told me that she was worried about
me and that she and Sr. Catherine had been praying for me. I was so
shocked that these two nuns would pray for me that I started to cry and
then laugh. She gave me a big hug and I felt so great. For the whole
rest of the day I had a smile on my face and I held my head up high as
if nothing could touch my positive outlook.

The next day when the newspaper came out with more stories about my
"administration" I read them and laughed like I do when I read the
National Enquirer. Many of my sorority sisters remarked about how I
was so cool under pressure. I told them my secret, "Yesterday, I found
out that two nuns have been praying for me and knowing that they are
supporting me has made all the difference in the world. I feel like it
just doesn't matter all that much anymore."

Sure enough, within a couple of weeks the whole scandal had blown over
and all my administration was found guilty of was poor bookkeeping on
the part of the student Treasurer. It was a pretty intense period in
my senior year of college, but it made me realize what was really
important to me: 1) always keep your sense of humor, 2) you are in
school to learn not play politics, 3) someone is always in your corner
whether you know it or not and 4) always pray for those in need because
positive energy will help them to be strong.